No swiping involved: the AI dating apps promising to find your soulmate | AI (artificial intelligence)

AI-Powered Dating: The Brave New World of Love, Loneliness, and Algorithm Matchmaking

In a world where dating apps exploit your attention, profiles lie about their six-pack abs, and sex is increasingly something your parents reminisce about, a growing number of tech entrepreneurs and adventurous Londoners are asking: can artificial intelligence finally solve the modern dating crisis?

The answer, according to early adopters, is a tentative “maybe.”

This isn’t science fiction about humans falling in love with seductive computer voices (though that’s already happening in 2026). AI dating has existed in various forms for years, with major platforms integrating machine learning and AI features into their offerings. But a perfect storm of dating app fatigue, general relationship malaise, and a mounting global loneliness epidemic has sparked a new generation of startups betting that AI can revolutionize how we find love.

Jasmine, a 28-year-old Londoner, found herself single for three years when she decided to try something radically different. “I was tired of the repetitive cycle on apps like Hinge and Tinder—the same conversations, the same disappointments,” she explains. “When I heard about Fate using agentic AI, I thought, ‘Why not? This is where the world is heading anyway.'”

Fate, a London-based startup that launched last May, positions itself as the world’s first “agentic AI dating app.” Its core innovation is an AI personality named Fate that conducts in-depth onboarding interviews with users, asking about their hopes, struggles, and relationship goals before presenting five carefully curated matches—no endless swiping required.

But Fate goes beyond simple matchmaking. The app offers AI-powered dating coaching, a feature Jasmine found genuinely helpful while another user described as “Black Mirror-esque” and “a bit scary.”

To demonstrate, Fate’s founder Rakesh Naidu conducted a live coaching session with his phone. “I just feel hopeless about my current chats. I don’t think I’m being engaging or meaningful enough,” he admitted to the AI. “I need some meaningful questions to really uncover people’s essence.”

“I hear you, Rakesh,” responded a synthetic female voice. “Here are a few ideas: One, what’s something you’re passionate about that not many people know?”

The 28-year-old founder launched Fate specifically to address what he sees as fundamental flaws in mainstream dating platforms like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. “These apps monetize user engagement and literally profit from keeping people lonely,” Naidu argues. “They’re designed to keep you swiping, not finding meaningful connections.”

Other AI dating startups have emerged across the United States with varying approaches. Sitch leverages AI’s ability to process vast amounts of information, inviting users to provide detailed preferences “down to hair color, where they want to raise a family, and their favorite music.” Keeper promises to find “a match with rare and real soulmate potential.”

Naidu’s primary criticism targets algorithmic matchmaking systems like Tinder’s former Elo score, which ranked users’ desirability much like chess players are rated. “It’s a Hobbesian proposition—high-scoring users are shown to other high-scoring users, low-scoring users to other low-scoring users. It’s incredibly superficial,” he explains.

AI, theoretically, offers a different path. While discussing your dating life with a chatbot might feel awkward, Fate doesn’t rank or judge users based on their responses. Instead, it uses large language models to identify users with similar personality traits and relationship goals. This approach, combined with AI coaching, encourages users to focus on authentic connection through “similarity and reciprocity of personality.”

However, not everyone is convinced. Amelia Miller, a consultant for Match Group (which owns Tinder and Hinge), expresses concern about this AI-driven approach to romance.

A recent Match Group study surveyed 5,000 Europeans about their online dating preferences, revealing that while many were interested in AI tools to weed out fake profiles and flag toxic behavior, 62% remained skeptical about using AI to guide their conversations. The dystopian vision of two AI agents conducting a conversation while humans become little more than “meatsuit mouthpieces” looms large in public imagination.

Miller, who coaches people on relationships with AI, observes that many of her clients turn to large language models for advice during the small, uncomfortable moments of building relationships—asking AI how to craft texts or respond to intimate questions.

“Often I’m trying to make sure people aren’t turning to machines because turning to humans demands a level of vulnerability that has become uncomfortable now that there’s an alternative,” she explains. The appeal of AI coaches like Fate lies in their risk-free nature—they don’t remember or evaluate your vulnerabilities the way human friends do.

“Advice is really one of the key ways people practice vulnerability in low-stakes environments,” Miller notes. “They build up to more vulnerable moments in romantic contexts through these smaller interactions.”

Jeremias, a Fate user for several months, chooses not to use the AI coach feature. “I could see it being helpful, but there are obvious concerns. The new generation might not develop real-world experience of actually trying and failing.”

Despite his reservations, the app helped him meet someone after a long period of being single in London. He’s unsure whether this success stems from AI matching or Fate’s deliberate design choices: presenting only five matches at a time and forcing users to write explanations when rejecting potential matches.

“It makes the swiping more thoughtful,” Jeremias explains. “If I’m actually saying no to this person, what are the reasons I’m saying no?”

Both Jeremias and Jasmine report having second dates coming up after years of being single. “It is exciting because you get those butterflies in your stomach again,” Jasmine says enthusiastically. “Going on a date with someone, doing yourself up really nicely, wearing dresses, heels—it’s fun.”

As AI continues to reshape how we search for love, one thing remains clear: whether through algorithms or authentic connection, the human desire for companionship persists. The question isn’t whether AI can help us find love—it’s whether we’re ready to let machines guide us through one of humanity’s most vulnerable experiences.

Tags: AI dating, agentic AI, Fate app, Tinder alternatives, machine learning romance, dating app fatigue, loneliness crisis, algorithmic matchmaking, Elo score, relationship coaching, Black Mirror dating, London startups, tech entrepreneurs, modern love, dating app revolution, AI personality matching, vulnerability in dating, future of romance, dating app skepticism, human connection, dating app innovation

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