Want to Stop Doomscrolling? You Might Need a Sleep Coach
The Sleep Revolution: Why Adults Are Finally Seeking Help for Their Restless Nights
Margaret Thatcher, who was known for sleeping only four hours a night, is often credited with saying “Sleep is for wimps!” But the truth is far more complex—and far more critical. Sleep isn’t laziness; it’s essential work. Putting down the phone, setting aside personal or political worries—these require genuine discipline. True relaxation calls for training, practice, and sometimes professional intervention.
Sleep coaches were once the domain of exhausted new parents desperate to get their newborns on a schedule. But recently, as anxieties about sleep have spiked across all demographics, grown-ups have discovered they need help with their habits too. A Gallup poll from 2023 found that 57 percent of Americans think they would feel better with more sleep, up from just 43 percent in 2013. Only about a quarter of those surveyed reported getting the commonly recommended eight or more hours per night—down from 34 percent a decade prior.
This growing crisis has created an unexpected opportunity. Sleep professionals are seizing the moment to help adults realize their dream of waking up rested and refreshed. WIRED recently spoke to a sleep consultant who, after years of working with children, recognized an underserved population: adults whose sleep problems had become chronic, debilitating, and seemingly intractable. She maintains it’s entirely possible to transform daytime and nighttime habits to optimize for good sleep. Why not start tonight?
The Two Paths to Sleep Desperation
Usually, an adult comes to me with one of two scenarios: First, a major life event—work stress, having a baby, losing a parent, a relationship ending—that completely destabilizes their system. Sleep is always the first thing to go. The second is that they have a chronic pattern. There are people who’ve really struggled with sleep since childhood, and then it becomes a part of how they see themselves. They’ve tried everything, and then they say, “I’m an insomniac.”
In both cases, they’re exhausted. I always laugh, because when I’m cornered at a dinner party it’s like, “Oh, I just have a quick question. I haven’t slept through the night in 19 years.”
I’ve been a sleep consultant for over 20 years. I started my child sleep practice after getting my master’s in clinical psychology. I was working with a lot of parents, and I really started to notice a common issue: Their children’s sleep issues were literally pushing them to the brink of divorce.
Even once I got their kids to be fabulous sleepers, the parents were still struggling due to long-standing habits from way before their kids arrived. That’s when I realized I needed to help the adults too.
The Two Types of Sleep Struggles
There are camps: trouble falling asleep or trouble waking up at night—or both. So that’s my job: to unravel that mystery of what’s keeping someone up at night. Some of the toughest cases are people who come in only focusing on their nighttime habits and don’t disclose things happening during the day.
One of my clients had trouble sleeping through the night for years. We realized that they consumed most of their calories at night, and nothing during the day. So they kept waking up to eat, and that completely dysregulated their system.
Another client, a woman who exercised all the time and drank 200 ounces of water a day, never made the connection that she was getting up to pee literally every hour. We had to diminish the amount of water she drank and have her stop drinking at a certain hour.
Sometimes people actually just stop functioning. I’m thinking about a mom who says, “I just forgot to clip my child’s seatbelt on in my car.” “I put my keys in the refrigerator.”
The Foundation of Better Sleep
I start with the basics. Of course, we’re doing sleep hygiene, but that’s anything that you can Google: Get blackout shades, have a sleep sanctuary. Most people think they have a good setup, but their habits or their environment are working against them. That’s where coaching helps, because I can spot what they’re missing.
People have these stories that they’ve told themselves, like, “If I sleep, then I’m not working hard enough” or “I’m young and I don’t need that much sleep.” What’s the new story that you can tell yourself about sleep? From there, I use a lot of journaling, cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, mindset work, breath work.
The transformation isn’t just about falling asleep faster or staying asleep longer. It’s about reclaiming your life from the tyranny of exhaustion. It’s about recognizing that sleep isn’t a luxury—it’s a biological necessity that affects everything from your immune system to your decision-making abilities to your relationships.
In a world that glorifies burnout and celebrates those who “hustle” at the expense of rest, seeking help for sleep problems is actually an act of rebellion. It’s saying that your health matters, that your well-being matters, that you deserve to function at your best. And that’s a message worth spreading.
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