Internet Backs Woman Not Telling Husband When She Was in Labor

Viewers online have rallied behind a woman after she shared why she withheld the news of her labor from her husband, the father of her child.

The woman, who goes by u/livid-teaching1664 on Reddit, revealed that her decision came after her husband repeatedly prioritized his mother’s needs over hers. The post, shared on July 4, has garnered significant attention online, amassing 13,000 upvotes and sparking widespread discussion on the platform.

The woman’s mother-in-law is facing a potential cancer diagnosis, leading her to become heavily dependent on her son for emotional and logistical support. For the past three weeks, the mother-in-law has requested her son’s presence daily, even asking him to accompany her to all medical appointments and for financial assistance. The constant demand for her husband’s time has led to multiple arguments between the woman and her husband.

“He’s not doing so well mentally, and I get that, but he’s severely impacting me by doing so,” the woman said. “I missed an important ultrasound because mommy dearest needed him because she was having a panic attack.

“He did try rushing home and he got me to my appointment, but I was 15 minutes late and therefore they needed to reschedule,” she added.

“This situation appears to be very complex and emotionally charged, likely brewing for some time before coming to a head due to recent events,” Rachel Goldberg, a marriage and family therapist, told Newsweek. “Emotions and resentment are running high in every direction. It’s understandable that the mother is extremely worried, and her son, feeling obligated and close to her, wants to support her in every way possible.”

The tipping point came when the woman, close to her due date, told her husband that she felt she might go into labor soon. Despite this, her husband rushed to his mother’s side when she experienced another health scare, leaving his wife to give birth alone at home.

The husband did not respond to her calls during labor and texts asking where he is, only returning home after receiving a photo with no context of their newborn daughter. His reaction was one of anger, accusing his wife of not explicitly informing him that she was in labor, despite her attempts to connect over the phone.

The woman said: “My body felt different and there was a lot more pressure, but roughly two hours later his mother called and said that she is s******* blood and needs to be rushed to the emergency room.

“Instead of calling an ambulance she called my husband, he immediately rushed to her side.”

The woman went into labor shortly after her husband left to tend to his mother.

“It was inappropriate for her husband to ignore her call and texts, likely due to feeling unable to please everyone,” Goldberg, who founded Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, California, said. “Simultaneously, his wife feels she and her family are being placed second, which is particularly difficult to navigate when extra hormonal and in need of support during a significant time.”

While Goldberg offers a balanced take, viewers online have supported the woman’s decision, with many sharing their reasons why in the comments section.

“You were obviously very late in pregnancy. Only the s******** of husbands would be ignoring your calls and texts at that time,” one user wrote. “Tell him that if he says one more word about it. He can go ahead and move in with mommy.”

Another added: “The fact he isn’t apologizing and taking accountability for his bad choices would be my last straw. He had said too many words already. She needs to tell him this now. I hope he finds this post or someone sends this to him with a ‘dis you?’ message. He is a trash partner and trash parent.”

“He ignored your calls and texts, what more does he want? A bat signal,” a third user shared. “Good riddance.”

“The woman’s passive-aggressive act of not informing him was likely a message, and it’s natural for her to feel guilt about it,” Goldberg said. “Her husband’s anger towards her likely stems from his own guilt over not responding.”

The challenges faced by this couple are not uncommon in families dealing with serious illnesses and stress. Goldberg suggests that professional help could facilitate breaking down this frosty dynamic.

“To resolve this and move forward more healthily, seeking outside help is advisable,” she said. “The husband’s mother’s need for attention compromises the relationship between the husband and his wife, but the buildup of resentment likely isn’t new.”

Exploring the reasons behind the husband’s compulsion to prioritize his mother and allowing the wife to express her feelings of being secondary could, according to the therapist, be key steps in mending their relationship if that is what they both seek.

Newsweek reached out to u/livid-teaching1664 for more information via Reddit.

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