DEAR MISS MANNERS: Not being naturally good at conversation, I’ve learned to look for specific cues that an exchange has been going on too long or that I need to move on. An obvious cue is when someone looks at their watch.
However, many people in my life now wear smartwatches, which alert them if they have a new text or email. Consequently, people are constantly glancing at their watches to triage incoming messages. This happens during both formal and informal conversations, at work and when chatting with friends.
Each time, the gesture kicks me into “It’s time to wrap this up” mode, even if our business isn’t finished. It makes it really hard to know if someone is paying attention, or if I’m better off going around the corner and texting them instead.
Generally, I won’t talk with someone who is looking at their phone, and I think putting your phone away during meetings is a pretty common ground rule. Is it reasonable to apply the same rule to smartwatches?
GENTLE READER: It is reasonable, but that does not mean it is often done.
Miss Manners is not suggesting you change your behavior; she is merely warning you of a subtle shift in perception.
In the past, a person who looked at their watch was likely aware, at least partially, of being rude, and may have been sheepish when they realized it had caused you to wrap up. The person who looks up from their phone — or their smartwatch — will be only dimly aware that anything has changed in the real world.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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